NEVER AGAIN...

(Here we are at the start of the race. Notice that I am smiling. The smile faded at about mile 5. It didn't come back until we were finished and I realized that I was, indeed, still living!)

well, maybe.


Yesterday was the big run we have spent the past 12 weeks training for. I am not a runner and this was one of the most difficult physical challenges I have ever encountered. I didn't know if I could do it, but I wanted to give it a go. I decided that if I was going to run that far I needed to lose some weight. My goal was to lose 20 pounds by race day. I didn't reach my goal, but I got close. I lost 15. I still want to lose the remaining 5, so I won't give up, yet.

Pily and I talked about training for and running a half-marathon back in the Spring. We decided to just do it. I also asked my friend/co-worker/workout partner if she wanted to join us. Nancy and I already run and workout together during the week, so we just added a long run outside on the weekends. We started out with a 5 mile run and either repeated the distance the following weekend or added one mile. After 11 weeks we worked our way up to 11 miles. I won't lie and say the training was easy, but it was easier with a running buddy. I don't think I would have been able to do it alone.


( After the race. It took us a while to meet up with Drew. There were A LOT of people there. Drew was awesome to come out and support us. He even brought all the kids and Pily's mom. I think he deserves a medal!)

On Saturday we drove over to Dallas to pick up our race packet. We also spent a little time walking around the Health Expo. It was fun being around all the serious runners. Running is such a life style. I don't think I have it in me to be a serious runner. Who am I kidding, I KNOW I don't have it in me to be a serious runner! I'll just pretend occasionally!

On the way home, we went to Academy. We were second guessing our choices in running apparel. The temperature was supposed to be in the 30's and windy. We wanted layers, but didn't know how many or how thick. I guess you learn from each race and just do the best you can do. Overall, I think we made some pretty good choices, but we spent A LOT of time thinking and talking about it!

(After the race. We were biting our medals. This was Drew's idea and our tribute to the Olympics!)

We got to the Dallas early the next morning. A lot of people-watching and talking was done while we were waiting. About 30 minutes before the scheduled start we decided we had better use the restroom. Well, the other 20,000+ runners had the same idea. We decided the port-a-potties were going to be the fastest/best choice. Apparently, the thought of running that far makes people nervous and, well, let's just say that it can cause, um, digestive difficulties. At least it wasn't hot outside, but it was windy. We got to experience some, um, interesting odors. Okay, moving on...

(Me and Pily after the race. The smile was back. I think I am still delirious at this point!)

The runner were broken up into corrals depending on your running time. The fastest runners were in front, so we were WAY in the back. After the 8:00 start, it took our group almost an HOUR to get to the starting line! When we finally started, I was feeling good. Pily told us to go on without her. Nancy and I took off and I felt good. I felt fine until around mile 5. That's when I realized we still had a LONG way to go. I don't know if we started off too fast (it wasn't faster that we had been running on the weekends) or if not knowing the course was the problem, but it got harder and harder to keep going the farther we went. By mile 7 I had sworn to myself that I would NEVER do this again! By mile 10 I didn't think I would LIVE to do it again. From mile 10 to the end I was just focused on finishing. That was all I could think about. Nancy could have run faster than I did, but she stayed with me. For that, I am forever grateful.

I bought a 13.1 sticker the day before and I told myself that I could only display it on my car if I finished without walking. That $2 sticker was my motivation to finish the run. That sticker is what kept me moving. I know it sounds stupid, but that's what did it!

We finished in 2 hours and 6 minutes. Our official time is 2:06:20. My goal was to have a time right around 2 hours. I didn't make my goal, but I wasn't too far off. Overall, I am proud of my time. I just wish I could have finished a little stronger. It was rough at the end!

After we finished, we picked up our medals, a finisher t-shirt, some drinks and fruit and waited to reunite with Pily. She wasn't too far behind us, so she found us pretty quickly. After picking up our bags we went out to find Drew and the kids. At this point I told Nancy and Pily that I would NEVER do that again. There was no way they were going to talk me into running another one.

When we got home and showered I sat down and felt sick. I have felt this way after all the long runs. I don't know why I feel like that, but I do. It is a nauseous, dizziness, head-achey, shaky, feverish feeling. It goes away after several hours, but until it does I just feel horrible. This is the worst part and I KNOW it's coming every time. Maybe I am doing something wrong. I don't know.

So, a day after the run, I can't say that I will NEVER do another one. I think I MIGHT like to do ONE a year. I would also like to do some shorter runs (5k's 10k's) throughout the year to better prepare for a half-marathon. I need to learn how to pace myself and how to better prepare my body for a long run like a half-marathon. I don't want to do another one any time soon, though!

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Through all of this training I have to say that Drew has just been the best husband. He has been very supportive of me and has let me do what I need to do to train. On the days when I came home from a long run feeling sick he let me stay in bed as long as I needed to. He would even bring me food in bed and he took care of the kids so I wouldn't have to. I know this has been hard on him and I really appreciate all of his support. I love you, Sweetie!

Reason #1,398,387 Why I Should NEVER Cook

Drew is coaching a basketball game tonight, so it is my night to cook. My kids LOVE egg salad, so I choose to make this often when it is my night. When we get home, I put the eggs on to boil while I give Addison a bath. Then I decide to make some fruit salad to go with it. (Yes, I have read that Dr. Oz recommends eating fruit on an empty stomach, but I still like to have it with a meal.) I cut up some apples, add some Mandarin oranges, open a can of fruit cocktail (in lite syrup), cut up some bananas and sections a couple of grapefruit. I like to mix canned fruit with fresh fruit because it makes it sweeter and takes less time. I usually add some coconut and chopped pecans, too. Anyway, after I sectioned the grapefruit I put the remnants in the garbage disposal. Citrus makes the disposal smell good. I let it run for a minute or before I realized my feet were getting wet. I began yelling, "NO, NO, NO!" trying to get the water to stop coming out from under the sink. I came to my senses and turned the water off, but it just kept coming. I opened the cabinet under the sink and it looked like the sink had vomited grapefruit~ a rather LARGE grapefruit. The pulp and rind was on EVERYTHING under the sink and in the water that was filling the kitchen floor. Apparently, the pipe that connects the sink to the garbage disposal shook loose from all the disposing of the grapefruit. I just wanted to cry. Or crawl in bed. Or leave. Or eat a bunch of chocolate. But, I didn't. I put my big girl panties on and started to clean it up. Well, after I took a picture of it with my phone and text it to Drew and said that this is why I should NEVER have to cook. The boys brought me every old towel in the garage and I began cleaning up the mess. And what a mess it was. Right now the kitchen rugs and ALL the towels from the garage are in a heap in the back yard. I don't even know where to begin cleaning all of that up. Drew should be home soon to help me or, hopefully, do it for me. This just proves to me that I shouldn't cook ever again. Something ALWAYS happens when I am in the kitchen. Now where is that chocolate...

Not Really Sure How to Title This One!

Clearly I am not very good at keeping up with my blog. I have great intentions, then they go away! I am on Facebook a lot, so that has taken up a lot of my blogging time. I will try to do better. Now for a funny little story. You may think it is TMI, so consider this your warning! :0)

This morning Addie was calling me from the bathroom. I knew she wanted me to wipe her butt. She usually does it herself, but there are times when she feels like she needs a little assistance. I did the deed and she jumped off the potty. She looked down and said, "That's a big family." I replied, "Addison, that is NOT a family." She looked up at me and said, "Yes, it is. It is the Poop Family." Then I sent the Poop Family on their merry way!

30 Days of Truth~ Day 5

Day 5~ Something you hope to do in your life.

I could say travel or visit far away lands, but what I really hope to do in my life is retire! I have a great job, I have great friends at work, I get the summers off, I get to play with kids and have fun with them I get a pay check every month and I get to have my own kids at school with me. But I really hope that I will get to enjoy retirement one day. I didn't start working until I graduated high school (unless you count the month I worked at Six Flags when I was 16!) and I have been working ever since. I enjoy working for the reasons mentioned above, but, frankly, I'm tired! My body is tired. My mind is tired. I so look forward to the day when my biggest decision of the day is whether I want to actually get dressed or stay in my pajamas all day! I know everyone plans on retiring, but not everyone gets to do it. I just hope I make enough of the right decisions now so I can actually retire one day and enjoy it.

30 Days of Truth~ Day 4

Day 4~ Something you have to forgive someone for.

I can't really talk about the details, but I have to work on forgiveness daily. I was hurt very badly by someone in the past and I have yet to get over it. It may be because I was never apologized to by this person. I know that even though I may NEVER receive an apology, I must still forgive. I know it is holding me hostage. I know I won't have a good/honest relationship with this person until I forgive. Most of the time I do okay, but I have days where I relive the whole experience. I still have some (some days a lot) of resentment, but I think it is getting better. I'm sure time will help. I know this person wants to be in my life and wants to have a relationship with me and my family, so I have the desire to forgive. I know with time and with lots of prayer it will be made right. How is that for vague!

30 Days of Truth~ Day 3

Day 3~ Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Again, I have so many. First and foremost, I must forgive myself for not being a good daughter. Oh, how selfish I was growing up (and still struggle with). I only thought of myself and didn't really care about what was going on with other people. My mom and I didn't see eye to eye on very many things. I know now (since I am a mother) that she was just looking out for my best interest, but I didn't know that then. Then, I just thought she was trying to take the fun out of everything and I showed my resentment by being mean, rude and hurtful. How I wish I could take back all the mean, hurtful, disrespectful things I did. I know I can't take them back. I can't even ask my mom for forgiveness since she is no longer here, but I also know that I have to forgive myself. If I knew then what I know now, I certainly would have acted differently. But, the truth is, I did what I did and have had to live with the consequences~ guilt, shame, being shunned by family, etc. I know I can't take it back, but I can move forward. To move forward, I must forgive myself. I can only hope and pray that I will have open communication with my own children, so they won't have to go through some of the things I did. I will say that I have learned from my mistakes and really think about how my actions will affect others before I act. That doesn't mean that I still don't make mistakes, I am human. But, I am more aware of my actions and how they affect others than I was when my mom was still here. Mother/daughter relationships are difficult at best, but mine and my mom's was more than difficult. I said things just to hurt her and did things to her just to make her mad. I am not proud of these things and know that some people still hold these things against me, but I must forgive myself to move forward. I know I am a different person than I was just a few short years ago and will hopefully grow even more as the years pass. So, although I am ashamed of my past behavior, I must forgive myself. Hopefully, my mom knew I loved her and felt my love from time to time. This truth stuff is hard! :0)

30 Days of Truth~ Day 2

Okay, I should have seen this one coming. I thought about not doing this one, but then I would be a quitter after one day. I have more pride than that!

Day 2~ Something you love about yourself

I can think of a million things I don't like about myself, but finding something I love about myself is hard. I know most of us are like that. We don't want to sound boastful or anything, so we usually just talk about the things we don't like about ourselves.

I love that I am a child of God. I know that I know that I know I will see heaven one day. I know (and love) that I have been saved by a loving God and I don't have to worry about where I will spend eternity. I also know that I will see my sister and mom one day because they were Christians too. I love that, although I am unlovable, my God loves me no matter what~ flaws and all. I love that I have peace and reassurance about this daily.

On a different note, I love that I can laugh at myself. I mess up DAILY and I can usually laugh at myself about it. I am SO not perfect and I mess up A LOT, so I think the ability to laugh at myself comes in handy! :0) I try not to take myself too seriously. I like to laugh and since I mess up so much I might as well laugh at myself!

I love that I love with my whole heart, also. This may hurt at times, but in the end I know that loving fully is so worth it.

What do you love about yourself?