The Aftermath...

Something happens to me after a race~ I become depressed. I recognize it now. That hasn't always been the case. The day after this marathon was so hard for me. I was on the verge of tears all day. Whenever someone asked me about the run I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to be happy, but I just wasn't. I am better today. The blues are fading. It is so strange to feel sad when I should feel proud, happy, relieved that it is over. In a way it doesn't seem like I even ran a marathon. I almost feel like it was a dream. The pain I experienced doesn't seem real. Is it like childbirth?  We forget, so we do it again??? Hopefully, I have learned that my ody doesn't respond we'll to all the running. If I do forget, Drew will remind me!

I have googled "post running depression" and I'm not the only person in the world who has experienced this. I am not abnormal after all! I think I probably just need some rest and a new goal. I haven't gone to the gym all week. I have taught boot camp this week, but that's a job. I have to do that. At this moment I don't ever want to run again! I know that will change, I just have to give it time. I am going to try to be patient with myself and see if a new interest or goal comes up. I would like to participate in  some races with Jackson, but I need to find out what is going on with my knees and back first. Maybe once it doesn't hurt so much to run I will want to do it again.

I am a complicated individual! I feel things deeply and am very sensitive. Hopefully my true friends will be able to put up with me during this crazy phase in my life. Drew has been amazing, as usual. He goes above and beyond what I would ever expect him to. (Thanks, Sweetie, for handling me with care and loving me at my best and my worst.)

Thanks for checking in with me and understanding that things are a little out of sorts right now. I'll get back to my ol' self soon, I'm sure! :0)