Christmas 2008

We (okay, Drew) cut down our tree at my grandparent's house this year. It was pretty bare, but it worked. My grandmother had some old ornaments that were my mom's and we decorated it the best we could. The boys had a good time with it. It may not be the prettiest tree, but it is one they will remember!

This is Addie and my granddad writing. We played many card games and Addie always had to be in on the action.

This was on the last night we were there. We went out riding on the four-wheelers in the dark one more time before we left. Addie LOVES to go for a ride. She has been riding since she was about 6 months old and I would strap her into her Snuggli and take her riding around. This is her absolute most favorite thing to do when we are there!

Jackson was as happy as could be to open his presents. Yes, Santa found us in the woods in Oklahoma and brought toys. He even ate all the cookies!

Bryson was happy, too. He sent an e-mail to Santa telling him we would be in Oklahoma this year. Santa responded and said he would find us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have had so many emotions this week I don't even know where to start.

We left for my grandparent's house last Monday. When we got there my mom's brother and two sisters were there. It was good to see them, but also strange. Ever since my mom died people have acted weird around me. I don't know if I have done something to offend anyone or if I remind them of her and that makes them uncomfortable. I always look forward to seeing family, but then when I do it is awkward. We weren't around them for long because they left early the next morning. I wish things could be different, but I guess they can't.

I have been so emotional this past year. I think it is finally setting in that this is how things are going to be from now on. My mom is gone. Yes, I know she has been gone for over four years, but I think it is finally becoming real to me.

I have also been thinking a lot about my sister. My grandmother used to record us singing and talking when we were young. She brought out some of those tapes when we were there last week. I used to enjoy listening to those silly tapes, but now they just make me sad~ those two little innocent girls full of life and happiness. One would be dead by the time she was 21 and the other one would be left to face the world without a sister and a mother. I try not to dwell on those things, but sometimes they just get to me. I wonder what it would be like to go shopping with my sister. To hang out at each other's houses. To play with each others kids. To talk about the crazy things our mom said or did. I wish I could have had an adult relationship with her. This I will never have.

We were very close in age (13 months apart) and experienced many heartaches in our lives. We moved a lot. Our parents divorced after 11 or 12 years of marriage. We spent a lot of time together. We were all each other had. I remember that we used to sit in our room and sing songs out of an old hymnal. She would play the tune on a little keyboard she had and we would try to sing all the songs. We would play Barbies and store. She always had to be the storekeeper. She liked being in charge more than I did. She was older and liked to play the part of the older sister. Having kids now, I realize how special those times were. She has been gone almost 17 years~ almost as long as she was here. There are so many things we never got to do that I wish for almost daily. I don't know why this has been hard this year, but it has.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, we had fun, I was just an emotional wreck. I think I hid it well, though. I didn't cry in front of anyone, so no one was the wiser! I am hoping I will be able to work through these emotions so I don't feel ready to cry at the drop of a hat. I am very sensitive anyway, I have just been extra sensitive the past couple of months.

Randomness

Addie went shopping with "the girls" yesterday. She did great until about 3/4 of the way through the third store. That is when she lost it. She cried (screamed) until we were almost home. Yes, you guessed it, she cried herself to sleep and didn't take a nap the rest of the day. Needless to say, she went to bed very early. Shopping is hard on a girl!

Bye, Bye. I'm going shopping!

This is why I have to fix her hair EVERY day. I don't know what else to do with it. It grows in so many different directions and is in her face if I don't try to tame it. I am not very creative, either. I only know about three different ways to fix it. Some suggestions would be great!

This is Pily and Addie. Pily is my dad and step-mother's daughter. She came and stayed with us for four days. She was born when I was about to turn 18. She used to stick right beside me when she was younger. Now my kids are doing the same with her. They had such a great time with you, Pily. You will have to come back more often. When you left, Bryson said that he already misses you.

It is difficult to get three kids to sit still for a picture. This was the best of the bunch. I won't even attempt to get "real" pictures taken of them for a while~at least until Addison learns how to cooperate.

We have a great weekend. I am finished shopping. Santa will be visiting us this year. The boys know "we" are not getting them a toy for Christmas since they chose to get a toilet tank lid. But I don't want Santa to look like the bad guy, too. We were going to have to scale it back this year anyway. This way we can kill two birds with one stone~ we scale back and the boys learn a lesson. As I see it, we are all winners! :0)

Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Baby Gone?

This morning when I was getting Addison out of bed she said, "Ont bep bass." (translation: Want breakfast) She even went and got a Nurti Grain bar out of the pantry and climbed into her chair. This girl knows what she wants and knows how to get it!

She will call Jackson "Jack Jack" when she wants him for something.

She yells, "Guys!" when nobody is paying attention to her.

She even tries to "tattle" on the boys. She will say, "Mommy!" and start jabbering in tattle-tale tone. You know the one~ we have all heard it. She will look at me with her eyebrows raised and point at them while she is jabbering.

I have posted previously all the words she is saying. I can't do that any more, because I can't keep up with her! It seems like every day she is saying more and more. My baby is no longer a baby. I was hoping her baby-stage would last a little longer since she is the last one. She thinks she is a big girl and likes to wrestle with the boys and even chases them with light sabers. I have tried to dress her a little girly, but that isn't working too well either!

This past Sunday she was looking so cute for church. My dad and step-mother bought her a little dress from Talbot's last year and it just now fits her. The top of the dress was a dark purple velvet and the skirt part was pink satin with a floral sheer material over it. It had some silk flowers on the front and a big pink bow in the back~ so pretty and feminine. So, Sunday I dressed her in it and fixed her hair with a pretty pink bow. She was looking so cute~ she was feeling it, too! I dropped her off at Sunday School and three hours later I went back to get her. There she was~ bow hanging on the side of her head, red-faced from playing hard and the floral material torn off the front of her dress! The poor lady in her room felt horrible. She said Addie was running and fell down and stepped on the front of her dress and ripped it. We were planning on going out to lunch after church but she looked a mess. Drew had the solution~ he ripped off the rest of the floral material. Now it was just a purple and pink dress~ still cute even. While we were eating Addie spit her food out on the front of her dress and left a huge grease stain on the pink satin. The dress is officially ruined. She only got to wear it once for about four hours! I try to make her girly and feminine but this is what happens. She will be a jeans and t-shirt girl from now on!

With Bryson I was so ready for him to do the next thing for his age. I wanted him to grow up so he could "do" something. With Jackson he did things a little faster than Bryson without much prodding from us. Addison won't slow down at all. She tries to do everything the boys do and usually does it. I have to remind myself that she is only 17 months old because she acts so much older. So, I don't know where my little baby has gone, but I'm pretty sure she is gone for good. On to big girl fun!

Happy Birthday, Mom

Today is/was my mom's birthday. She would have been 59. I still miss her and still have the urge to call her and tell her what's going on with us and the kids. I would have thought this would have lessened over time, but it hasn't, yet. While she was here, I called her or she called me daily.

I don't talk about her as much as I used to. I know it makes people uncomfortable and I don't want to do that. Bryson doesn't remember much about when she was here, either. I can't blame him, he was only 4 1/2 when she died. When I told him it was her birthday today he didn't really say anything. I know he remembers how I reacted when I found out she was gone and I hate that I didn't think to shield him from that. I wasn't thinking. He will probably always remember that day, but has forgotten all the fun he had with her and how much he meant to her. I wish she were here to spoil him and play with him, Jackson and Addison. I am certain that they would be even more rotten than they already are if she were here! I hate that they will never have that kind of relationship with my mom. My grandmother and granddad spoil them when we see them, but we don't get to see them very often. Hopefully they will come see us more often (hint, hint!).My dad lives in Houston and they don't get to see him very often, either. Drew's mom works, well, you know the rest!

Anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge that it is/was my mom's birthday today. I didn't want it to seem like I forgot it. Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you!

Fun with Friends!

Breon and Drew set up three tents for us to sleep in. This took a few hours, but they didn't complain at all (at least not to us).

Jackson loves to be outside and absolutely LOVES to ride the four-wheelers. Could you get a happier face than this?

Kourtni had fun playing with Belle and Jessie. She always gives them so much attention. They love her!

Addison is an outdoor girl, too. She had fun playing outside and riding the four-wheelers. She kept saying, "Side, side" every time someone went through the door.

Check out Kecia and her camo boots! I know she would make her daddy, the hunter, proud!

Canasta, anyone? Yes, that is Breon playing cards. He is even smiling about it!

Bryson and Jackson sitting on the tree. This tree is shaped like the number 4 and they are sitting about four feet off the ground. This tree is just down stream from the waterfall.

Drew and Breon bonding together on the rocks of the creek. Drew had already fallen in by this point and Breon had slipped about four feet on the slippery rocks.

At night by the camp fire. This is the night we made s'mores.

Is Breon falling in the water or is he trying to catch a fish with his hands? You decide!

We made it to the creek and everyone was still smiling!

The Dennis family in Oklahoma. Look how happy they are!

Bryson, Brea, Kourtni and Jackson at the creek. Jackson was not too happy at this point!

Jackson climbing the big hill after we crossed the creek. He is happy here because we had not gotten to the thick briars, yet! His mood changed after he got to the top of the hill.

Kecia walking gingerly across the creek. The bottom was very slippery and you had to go very slow. Plus, it was VERY cold!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We spent a wonderful and relaxing five days with our friends, Breon and Kecia and their two girls. We went to my grandparent's house in Octavia, Oklahoma. As I have mentioned before, this is my favorite place in the entire world. We wanted our friends to see for themselves how much fun country-livin' can be! My grandparents are so gracious to allow any of their kids and grandkids to bring their friends up there. Thanks so much, Grandmother and Granddad! We love you!

We (mostly, they!) spent three nights in a tent. Their girls had never slept outside before. Addison even got in on the action the last night in the tents. She is a camper now!

We, of course, had to roast marshmallows over the camp fire and made s'mores. The kids had fun playing in the fire with bamboo. If you leave it in the fire long enough, pressure builds in the sections of bamboo and eventually it explodes. (Science lesson!) The kids spent a lot of time throwing rocks in the creek. I did this when I was a kid. It was so much fun then. It is cool to see my kids enjoying the same things I did as a kid.

On Friday we ventured across Eagle Fork Creek. There was a light rain before we started and it continued for most of the trip. This made the rocks ever more slippery than they usually are. It just adds to the fun. Breon and Kecia were troopers as we had to get our feet wet to cross the creek. Then we climbed up the big hill and traversed through thick briars to finally reach the beautiful creek. They got to see the waterfall we talk so lovingly about. We took lots of pictures and headed back across the creek in a different spot. This time we got wet up to our thighs. Yes, it was VERY cold. The kids were great, except for Jackson. He whined most of the time and had to be carried through the briars. He is still a little young to appreciate the walk, but he will learn. Bryson, Brea and Kourtni did a great job. I think everyone fell at some point, except for me and Kourtni. (I just had to mention that!)

We laughed at so many things~ too many to even try to mention. We made some great memories together~ things we will remember for a lifetime. We love you, Dennis family!

We came home yesterday and everyone still loves each other. I think that was a successful trip! Now we are planning on going to San Antonio together next summer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TODAY:

Jackson: What are you doing, Mommy?

Me: Making a list for things we need from Wal-Mart.

Jackson: Put something for me on that list.

Me: I can't. Daddy will get mad at me.

Jackson: No, he won't. Trust me. Just smile at him like this.

(Shows the cutest smile in the whole wide world!)

The boy learned early how to get what he wants!