Mother's Day

I have mixed feelings about Mother's Day. I don't think I am a particularly good mother. I don't like to cook. I lose my patience easily. I am critical. I don't spend time doing crafty or imaginative things with my kids. I let them watch too much tv. I don't spend as much time with them as I should. I don't get out and play games with them very often. I don't pray with them as much as I should. I don't read with them as much as I should. I do desire to do these things, I just don't make the time for it. I love my kids with all my soul. I love being around them. They are funny and have great personalities. They make me proud. (most of the time! :0) ) Sometimes I give all of my energy away to other people's kids during the day that I don't have any left to give to my own. Do I feel guilty about this? Obviously.

This summer I plan on focusing my attention on my kids the way I should throughout the year. I am going to play with them, cook for them, make things with them. We are going to go swimming, read, pray and hang out together. I am going to try to let go of my controlling nature and just be in the moment this summer. We aren't going to have a schedule or an agenda. We are going to enjoy just being together. This is my plan~ I plan to not plan! I plan to have fun and make memories with my kids and Drew, of course.

Another reason I have mixed feelings about Mother's Day is because I was not a particularly good daughter to my mother. I was critical, lost my patience easily and showed my temper (a lot). Do I feel guilty about this? Obviously.

There is nothing I can do about this. She is gone and I cannot undo what I did. I can try to be a better mother to my kids than I was a daughter. I can try to show my kids what a good marriage looks like. I can try to show my sons how to treat a girl and I can try to show my daughter how she should be treated.

I am thankful that Drew treats me like it's Mother's Day every day throughout the year. He cooks, cleans and tells me I am "off duty" when he is home. Thanks, Sweetie for picking up where I leave off as a mother. Your kids are very blessed to have you as a daddy and I am so thankful to have you as a husband.

So, this Mother's Day I am just going to try to enjoy being a mother. There are so many women out there who aren't able to have babies or women who have lost their babies. I am thankful that I am a mother and thankful that I still have the opportunity to be a better one.