I registered Jackson for kindergarten today. I can't believe he is old enough to go to school. I know time passes quickly, but I need it to slow down! I could never imagine what it would be like when both of my boys were in school. Now it is right around the corner.
When Bryson started kindergarten I cried. I work in the same school he attends, but I cried anyway! I felt so stupid for crying, but I couldn't stop it from happening. Drew wasn't able to be there since he teaches also, so I cried alone. I remember thinking how I wish my mom were there to enjoy that day with us. I know she would have taken a day off work to come see Bryson's first day. I remember thinking how unfair it was that I couldn't share that big moment with my mom. It was such a big day in the life of a five year-old and I felt like I didn't have anyone to share it with.
I feel the same way about Jackson. When my mom passed away Jackson was only five months old. He never knew her. She loved him so much. She loved babies and loved to hold and sing to Jackson (and Bryson when he was a baby). I wish she were here to go to school with us on Jackson's first day. This year Drew is going to come with us. Since he has athletics first period he will be able to get away for a little bit on the first day. I know I will cry. I will prepare him ahead of time!
If you know me, you know I am a crier. I don't like it. I fight it. I wish I could change it. I am trying to accept the fact that this is how God made me and it is okay to be sentimental. It is embarrassing at times. The strangest things will make me tear up~ some commercials, pictures, cards, talking about my kids and family, talking about babies, breathing! I try to hide it. I try to joke about it. But I can't stop it and don't know if I should try to stop it. I hope it doesn't make people uncomfortable. That is just how I am wired, I guess. I am trying to learn to accept it.
Anyway, my baby boy is starting kindergarten and I am a little emotional about it. I know he will enjoy school. I know he will be good at it. I just hope I don't freak him out with my crying. (Although, he knows mommy cries sometimes!)
When Addison starts school, I may need medication!
Fashion Friday: Edition better late than never
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2 comments:
You're so cute! ILU
How I would love to be there to share Jackson's first day with you, and we would both be crying! Yes, Gwen would be there! I know she is enjoying so much more now, but It's good to think of how she would enjoy all three! I miss her so much. Sometimes I catch myself thinking I need to tell her what the "kids" have done or said. We always laughed so much at what Bryson did! We would just have 2 more to laugh about. Jackson and Addie will miss so much, not getting to know her But we have to look at the good times we did have and not dwell on the past. Just enjoy the kids as she would have. I hope I'm around long enough where they will remember how much I loved being with them and playing silly things! I know I get them into trouble letting them do things that maybe you don't let them do, but I don't think it hurts to spoil them a lot!!
Don't be ashamed to cry over things
that may seem silly to others, only another mother will know, and understand.
Love You All So Much.
Grandmother
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