Therapy, Anyone???

I think I am beginning to realize that I can't be "perfect" at everything. Let me just say that I am FAR from perfect, but that doesn't keep me from striving for perfection every day.

For example, if I don't get up at 4:15 to go to the gym I spend several hours beating myself up and putting myself down for being "lazy." I know in my head that my body needs a break every once in a while and that it is okay to sleep in one morning a week, but I still feel guilty when I miss a morning. All day long I will think of ways to fit in a workout that day or try to find some time to "make up" what I missed. I am trying to be okay with taking a break one day a week, but it's hard. I feel like if I miss a day I am not "perfect" in my workouts. Anyway, today I slept in. I tried not to worry about it. I mostly did okay. I noticed, about mid-morning, that I wasn't yawning. I actually felt awake and I didn't feel tired today. I did do a short "workout" at home while my wonderful husband made dinner, but I don't feel so guilty about my lack of workout this morning.

I beat myself up if I don't eat perfectly, too. You can tell by looking at me that I am FAR, FAR from perfect in this area. I still think of some foods as "bad" and some foods as "good." I KNOW that moderation is the key, but I still label foods. I don't want to spend my entire life thinking about what I put in my mouth, but right now I label everything! It doesn't keep me from eating "bad" foods. I just feel guilty when I do.

I also feel the need to be the perfect mom. I worry about if I am doing enough with my kids academics, social life, church life, etc. Some days I feel like I do a pretty good job. Other days I hope I can just make it through without causing any permanent damage. I (we) try to teach the kids how to treat people nicely and how to love each other. These, to me, are very important life "skills" and I hope we do an okay job with those. I don't feel like we do a very good job with "enrichment" activities. I don't really talk to my kids about money (other than what they cost me!). I don't cook with my kids. (I hate to cook!) I don't get outside and play much with them.

I guess what I am trying to do is find a good balance. I jokingly say that my motto is "Mediocrity is O.K.," but I really don't believe that. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, but there is not enough time in the day to do everything I need to do perfectly. I have blogged about this a few other times. I guess I am just trying to get over the guilt of not being "perfect." Why do I put this pressure on myself? I don't expect other people to be perfect. Why do I think I can be perfect?

I am obviously not the only person who has ever been a wife, teacher and mother. How do other people do it? How do you decide what is worth the time and what you can let slide? Maybe one day I will figure it out. Until then, I will just try to keep my head above water and hope I don't cause my kids and Drew to seek out long-term therapy!

Do other people struggle with these same things or am I the only crazy person in blog land? Please tell me I am not crazy! :0)