So, funny story...

Today didn't go as I had planned.  I should have known right off the bat that things would go awry.  I had a doctor's appointment this morning just for a yearly check-up.  After the appointment I was going to drive up to Oklahoma to spend the weekend with her.  Drew and the kids were staying at home. 

When I arrived at the doctor's office, the door was locked and the lights were off.  I called the office (They have 2 locations.) to check to make sure I hadn't misunderstood the appointment time and date I made THREE MONTHS AGO.  The receptionist told me they had tried to call, but the number listed wasn't a working number.  "That's funny," I told her, "I haven't had a new number in YEARS."  Anyway, the doctor wasn't in that day, so I would have to reschedule.  Whatever.  No big deal.  I could leave on my trip a little sooner. 

I stopped at a McDonald's to get something to eat and use the restroom.  (I couldn't eat before my appointment because I might weigh half a pound more!  Come on, Ladies, I know I'm not the only one who does that!)  I hesitated getting a large drink because I wanted to make the trip without stopping to use the restroom.  What the heck, I could make it!

I got on my way and was making good time.  I have driven to Oklahoma MANY times, but this time I was going to go a different, faster way.  We have come home that way recently, but have never gone that way.  Drew texted me the numbers of the highways, so I was set.

I made it to Atoka, Ok then Antlers.  I knew I would need to take another highway, but I thought it was 144 I was looking for.  After several minutes I started noticing signs for Broken Bow.  That's weird, I thought.  Why would people drive to Broken Bow this way???  After a couple more signs for Broken Bow I looked at my map app on my phone. Well, I had missed a turn somewhere around Antlers.  I rerouted my map and it showed that I could backtrack to Antlers and find the road I missed or I could continue on and go a different way.  I turned back at first, but then decided to go the new way.  It was about 30 miles shorter to just continue on.  It will be an adventure, I thought!

Unfortunately, by this time my tea had made it to my bladder and I needed to go~ real bad.  When you can feel the size and shape of your bladder, you need to go!  There was NO PLACE to stop.  NO PLACE I tell ya.  No towns, no gas stations, not even a shoulder on the side of the road at this point!  When I finally spotted a bridge with a decent shoulder I decided to just use my McDonald's cup.  What is a girl to do???  Pray no cars would pass me is what I did!  I tell you, my cup was (almost) overflowing.  Good thing I got the large!

I continued on my way checking my map often. I turned on my Pandora radio and was singing along.  My little blue dot was following the blue line just fine and I was getting close to my next turnoff~ County Road N4555.  I never saw a sign, but my little blue dot missed the turn, so I turned around and took the road that my phone showed I was suppose to take.  I thought it strange that the road didn't have a center line.  It didn't have white lines on the shoulders, either.  Strange, but I kept going.  The road started getting narrower and bumpier.  I kept going.  My Pandora kept cutting off and on.  I checked my gas gauge and had about 1/3 of a tank.  My blue dot was still on the blue line.  The paved road turned into a dirt road with rocks, lots of rocks.  In fact, there were more rocks than dirt.  Now my phone said "searching."  Um, okay, I'll keep going.  My dot WAS on the blue line the last time I had cell service and I hadn't turned off anywhere, so I should still be going in the right direction.  I kept driving, but realized I hadn't heard Pandora for several minutes.  My gas gauge now read just over 1/4 full.  (Why does the last 1/4 go so quickly???)  I saw NO SIGNS at all on this road.  NONE.

I finally saw a sign.  It read "Crowsfoot Junction" and split off in four directions.  I kind of laughed and thought this would make a funny post for my blog.  I even took a picture of the sign.  Huh, which one do I take???  Check my map.  No service.  Well, I'll just take the middle(ish) one. I still think I am going in the right direction.  Surely I will see a sign or find a place to ask for help.  I kept driving~slowly.  I couldn't go more than about 15-20 MPH on these roads.  They were that rural and rocky.  Pandora would come on for a few seconds at a time and then go silent for several minutes.  During one of the quiet times I heard a PSSSSSSS.  Oh. My. Goodness. I knew exactly what that sound was.  I kept saying, "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO," as if that could make it stop.  Then my tire pressure light came on.  Oh. My. Goodness.  No cell service, no idea where I was, 1/4 tank of gas and I needed to pee again.  It had been at least 30-45 minutes since the paved road turned into rocky road. 

I stopped the car and started to cry. I checked my phone and it said "searching" then it would show one bar.  I got out the owner's manual and looked up how to change the tire.  Needless to say, I had never changed a tire.  Heck, I didn't even know where the spare tire was!  When one bar was showing, I called Drew hoping to get through.  He answered and I just started crying harder.  I'm sure I freaked him out.  I decided to just suck it up and try to change the tire.  I kept Drew on speaker phone until it would cut out and he would call back.  I worked and worked until I finally got the old tire off and the new tire on.  That is a story in and of itself.  It's not easy to do and even harder on a dirty, rocky road in the middle of nowhere.  During all of this Drew had me get on MapMyRun so he could try to find me with the LiveTracking feature.  After a while he was able to see where I was. 

The phone kept disconnecting and we would call each other back.  One time when one of us called the other he told me that he had contacted one of my granddad's friends (Bill) who was going to try to come find me.  I had no landmarks other than the "Crowsfoot Crossing" sign and it was made out of wood and not an official highway department sign.  Drew also mentioned that the sheriff's department had been called and they were looking for me, too.  Oh. My. Gosh.  Now I was REALLY embarrassed and hot and sweaty and I still had to pee.  Thankfully, I still had my cup (I didn't want to litter when I used it before), so I took care of my business again!  Drew and I decided that I needed to turn around and go back the way I had come.  I drove even slower this time because I was afraid of popping another tire, not having another spare and spotty cell service and not knowing where I was yet.  I still had my LiveTracking on, so Drew was following me and we were talking when I had service.

I made it back to the paved road and called Bill.  He was going to wait for me until he knew I was safe.  I'm not sure where he was at this point, he never found me.  I made it back to the highway I turned off on (I had gone about 23 miles on the paved then non-paved road.) and knew which way to turn.  I was now headed toward Broken Bow.  I was a little worried about my gas situation, but my gas light had not come on yet. 

I made it to Broken Bow and found a gas station.  I also needed to air up the spare because it looked a little low.  An old man in a van told me it looked like my tires had enough air and he checked them with his tire gauge.  That was so nice of him!  And, since when have gas stations started charging for air??? A dollar for air???  Thankfully I had four quarters!  Anyway, the little man made sure I was good to go and I went on my way.

Once I got going and realized I was going to be okay, I just started laughing.  I was so scared at one point, but I made it and I learned how to change a tire.  :0)

After arriving at my grandmother's house and looking at a map I realized that I should have been looking for highway 271 out of Antler's instead of 144.  I would have turned onto 144 AFTER getting on 271.  Well, my 4 hour trip turned into 7 and 1/2 hours.  I had quite the adventure today, one that I hope to NEVER repeat!

I am thankful to Drew for thinking when I couldn't and for keeping me calm.  I am thankful to Bill for being willing to look for me when I had NO IDEA where I was!  I am thankful to my grandmother for praying for me.  (She was a little freaked out she said.)  I am thankful for owner's manuals, but do wish there were better pictures in them!  I am thankful for the people who made it to the end of this long story!  Believe me, it seemed longer when it was happening!

Aww, summertime...

We have just about finished our THIRD week of summer vacation. Oh my goodness! Slow down, summer! We are so busy having fun time is passing too quickly. I am still teaching boot camp four mornings a week. It is fun and I enjoy working out outside with other people. I like pushing myself hard and since misery loves company it's good to have other people to suffer along with me! Seriously, though, I just hope I'm getting stronger. I am NOT getting on a scale to see if I've lost any weight.  Hopefully I have broken my addiction to the scale. I now base things on how my clothes fit. Am I where I want to be? No, not yet, but I am accepting of my body and know I need to appreciate it and what it is able to do.  We have one more week of boot camp then I will get my workouts in another way. I am all about variety.

I have tried to cook more this summer. That was one of my goals. It is starting to get more enjoyable. I don't know if I'll ever LOVE cooking, but hopefully I can learn to enjoy it a little bit. I want my kids to have memories of me cooking, too.

I have also been trying to spend time with each of the kids alone. This has been picking special things to do with just them that they are interested in. Addie and have got a pedicure. Bryson and I went to the Ripley's Believe it or Not and wax museum. Jackson and I are planning a trip to a local water park in July. Hopefully they will remember these special times with mom.

I have already read three books for fun. I LOVE reading and just never have time for it during the school year. I will probably go back to the library tomorrow for some more books. Historical fiction set in the late 1800's-early 1900's is my favorite genre.

I attended a PE workshop last week and got to spend time playing with friends and learning new games and activities. Always a fun way to spend a day!

Jackson and Drew go to children's camp next week. It will be Jackson's first year to go. I now he will have a good time. I hope Drew survives! I get to go when Addie is old enough. Oh joy.

That's about all that's going on this week. Looking forward to what next week brings!

Summer has settled in...

This week our summer has consisted of boot camp, basketball camp for the boys, swimming, and relaxing. We are staying pretty busy, but relaxing as well. I have already read two books with many more to come. I am determined to make the most of each day and to enjoy my summer to the fullest.

When negative thoughts start creeping in, I try to think about how leased I really am. We have some looming situations related to Drew's accident last summer, but I'm tring to have faith that they will be resolved soon. I have definitely had to practice patience this year and it HAS NOT been fun.

I have a PE workshop tomorrow, Jackson has two football games on Saturday and we are going to the Rangers game on Sunday. Happy weekend!

Summer~ Days 2 and 3

Wow! We have done A LOT in two days! Yesterday after boot camp we loaded up and headed to the zoo. Drew and I made a picnic lunch the night before, so we were ready to go. (Drew is working summer enrichment, so he didn't get to go with us either day.) We walked around the zoo for a couple of hours and that was about all any of us could take.  We were hungry and tired. We made our way over to Trinity Park just in time to board the train. Afterward we ate lunch at the park and the kids played on the playground. I got to sit and read a few pages of a book. It was wonderful! When we got home we all took showers and sat around until dinner. We were exhausted!

This morning after boot camp we headed over to River Legacy Park in Arlington. I had never been there and didn't know what to expect. We started off at the playground. It was awesome. It started raining on us, but we didn't let that stop us. We waited it out and decided to walk around and explore a little bit. We found some trails off the paved areas and so we walked until we reached the science center. We walked around inside and looked at the fish and animals they had in there. Outside was a pond with some perch and turtles. We turned over some logs on one of the trails and found some roly polys and threw them to the fish. They practically jumped out of the water to eat those bugs! This kept us entertained for about 30 minutes then we started getting hungry. We headed back and I ended up having to carry Addison on my back most of the way. Her shoe had rubbed wrong and a blister had formed. She was a trooper, though, and tried not to complain. I could tell it hurt, so I just let her hop on my back. Needless to say, I was ready to get back to the car! When we got home we ate lunch and changed to go swimming. Now we are sitting around waiting for dinner. I'm tired, but it's a good tired. We are having fun hanging out, exploring and enjoying summer!

Summer~ Day 1

We started summer break today! I'm not counting the weekend, so today is the first "official" day.  I started off teaching boot camp at 7:00-8:30 this morning. The temperature was in the upper 60's and was fabulous! Afterward, I went to the car wash before going home. Bryson is our babysitter now, so I don't have to drag the kids with me. It's so much easier for me and they don't have to wake up early. After I showered, we went to the library and checked out some books. My kids are FINALLY starting to realize how great books can be, so I am going to take advantage of that. Then we went to a park for about an hour before gong home for lunch. After lunch we read for about an hour and got ready to go to the pool for a couple of hours. We came home for dinner then the kids wanted to go to a different park to hit baseballs. Now we are just laying around watching tv, reading or playing on the iPads. This has been a pretty perfect day. Tomorrow we are planning on going to the zoo. I love summer!!!

The Aftermath...

Something happens to me after a race~ I become depressed. I recognize it now. That hasn't always been the case. The day after this marathon was so hard for me. I was on the verge of tears all day. Whenever someone asked me about the run I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to be happy, but I just wasn't. I am better today. The blues are fading. It is so strange to feel sad when I should feel proud, happy, relieved that it is over. In a way it doesn't seem like I even ran a marathon. I almost feel like it was a dream. The pain I experienced doesn't seem real. Is it like childbirth?  We forget, so we do it again??? Hopefully, I have learned that my ody doesn't respond we'll to all the running. If I do forget, Drew will remind me!

I have googled "post running depression" and I'm not the only person in the world who has experienced this. I am not abnormal after all! I think I probably just need some rest and a new goal. I haven't gone to the gym all week. I have taught boot camp this week, but that's a job. I have to do that. At this moment I don't ever want to run again! I know that will change, I just have to give it time. I am going to try to be patient with myself and see if a new interest or goal comes up. I would like to participate in  some races with Jackson, but I need to find out what is going on with my knees and back first. Maybe once it doesn't hurt so much to run I will want to do it again.

I am a complicated individual! I feel things deeply and am very sensitive. Hopefully my true friends will be able to put up with me during this crazy phase in my life. Drew has been amazing, as usual. He goes above and beyond what I would ever expect him to. (Thanks, Sweetie, for handling me with care and loving me at my best and my worst.)

Thanks for checking in with me and understanding that things are a little out of sorts right now. I'll get back to my ol' self soon, I'm sure! :0)

Marathon #2

Sunday I ran in the Cowtown marathon. I felt ready. Although I have had some nagging injuries, I felt pretty confident I could beat last year's time. The weather was perfect~ low 40's with a high in the 60's. The wind was light at the start and picked up toward the end, but it was at our backs by then.

The first half was comfortable and quite enjoyable. My knees and back weren't too troublesome. By mile 15 or so the nerve in my back kicked into high gear and wouldn't let up. My right knee was screaming with each step. I was miserable, but determined to finish. We ate and drank along the way while taking short walk breaks. The crowd was fantastic and so supportive. the atmosphere at a race is incredible.

Around mile 18 I was ready to quit. If Drew would have been there at that moment I may have just walked off. I was hurting so badly. It was eye-crossing pain. One of the spectators had a sign that read, "This is easier than giving birth." I told him that was a lie!

Once we reached mile 20 I knew I would finish, but it wouldn't be pretty. I had given up hope of beating my time at this point and just wanted to be done. We started running for 5 minutes and walking for 2 minutes. It gave me something to look forward to. I was living for those 2 minute walk breaks! I knew it was going to be pure determination and will that would get me across that finish line. When we finally reached mile 25, I just couldn't run anymore. My back was so tight, my hips we locking up and my knees, oh my knees, felt like the bones were just rubbing together.

When I saw the turn that led to the finish line I knew I had to run. I always tell the kids at school to never walk across the finish line. Always finish strong. I ran with whatever I had left and I made it! It hurt like hell, but I made it.

As soon as I crossed the finish line Pily was there to meet us. I saw my awesome family who followed us all along the way and I just became so emotional. My throat started closing up and I needed oxygen! I kept walking, took some deep breaths and got myself together. My finisher medal was placed around my neck and I went inside to get something to eat. My stomach had been growling for at least 5 miles. I was so hungry!

We met up with Drew, dad and the kids and Nancy's family and got our finisher shirt. I kept saying, "I just want to go home." I wanted out of there. I was miserable and needed to leave. Thankfully Drew had the forethought to park close by.

We said goodbye to Dad and Nancy and headed to the car. That's when I was overcome with emotion. I started to cry and kept saying how bad I hurt. I know my kids were concerned, but I just couldn't hold it in any longer. The pride of finishing, the pain, the disappointment of not beating my time, the fatigue all came pouring out. I couldn't control it. I'm telling you, it was ugly! I'm not too proud to admit it. This is such an emotional experience for me. I climbed into the car. That was ugly, too! I could barely pick my feet up off the ground. I didn't know how I was ever going to get OUT of the car!

Once we got home Drew had to help me out. My knee felt like bone on bone when I stood. I really thought it was broken. The pain, oh the pain, was almost unbearable. I hobbled to the tub to soak in Epsom salt not caring if I got stuck in there. I managed to get in and sat for a while. I also managed to get out without causing more bodily harm.

I ate some sushi (This has become my post-run meal of choice.) and took the cocktail of meds Drew gave me. I didn't even ask what it was until later. I won't go into what I took, but it didn't even touch the pain until the second dose about 4 hours later.

I was finally able to sleep for a couple of hours. I woke up to the sound of my stomach growling. I ate some dinner and went back to sleep for the night. I woke up the next morning still sore, still disappointed, but ready to face the day.

I will blog about that later. This is more than enough for now!