Reason #1,398,387 Why I Should NEVER Cook

Drew is coaching a basketball game tonight, so it is my night to cook. My kids LOVE egg salad, so I choose to make this often when it is my night. When we get home, I put the eggs on to boil while I give Addison a bath. Then I decide to make some fruit salad to go with it. (Yes, I have read that Dr. Oz recommends eating fruit on an empty stomach, but I still like to have it with a meal.) I cut up some apples, add some Mandarin oranges, open a can of fruit cocktail (in lite syrup), cut up some bananas and sections a couple of grapefruit. I like to mix canned fruit with fresh fruit because it makes it sweeter and takes less time. I usually add some coconut and chopped pecans, too. Anyway, after I sectioned the grapefruit I put the remnants in the garbage disposal. Citrus makes the disposal smell good. I let it run for a minute or before I realized my feet were getting wet. I began yelling, "NO, NO, NO!" trying to get the water to stop coming out from under the sink. I came to my senses and turned the water off, but it just kept coming. I opened the cabinet under the sink and it looked like the sink had vomited grapefruit~ a rather LARGE grapefruit. The pulp and rind was on EVERYTHING under the sink and in the water that was filling the kitchen floor. Apparently, the pipe that connects the sink to the garbage disposal shook loose from all the disposing of the grapefruit. I just wanted to cry. Or crawl in bed. Or leave. Or eat a bunch of chocolate. But, I didn't. I put my big girl panties on and started to clean it up. Well, after I took a picture of it with my phone and text it to Drew and said that this is why I should NEVER have to cook. The boys brought me every old towel in the garage and I began cleaning up the mess. And what a mess it was. Right now the kitchen rugs and ALL the towels from the garage are in a heap in the back yard. I don't even know where to begin cleaning all of that up. Drew should be home soon to help me or, hopefully, do it for me. This just proves to me that I shouldn't cook ever again. Something ALWAYS happens when I am in the kitchen. Now where is that chocolate...