In a Funk.

I think I may have figured out why I have been in a funk this weekend. Bryson was sent to the office on Friday afternoon. I won't elaborate about it, it just makes me question my/our parenting skills. I know kids aren't perfect and they are going to make bad choices, but Bryson is usually pretty level-headed at school. Lately, though, he has been acting so different. His grades have dropped, dramatically, and his attitude has changed. I don't know if it is just his age or if something else is going on. He has cried and told me that kids are making fun of his lip. He is very self-conscious about it. He talks to me about it occasionally, but usually keeps quiet about it. So, I know it is really bugging him when he does finally talk. We have made an appointment with the plastic surgeon who did his first two surgeries to see when we can do his next one. The appointment isn't until May. If anything is to be done I would do it in the summer. I would like to do it sooner rather than later. Drew doesn't see the urgency. He says that kids are going to make fun of each other some way, Bryson is just going to have to learn to deal with it. I don't agree.

Here's why:
Growing up I had teeth that were yellow and stained. We rarely went to the dentist when I was younger and it was just ignored. Everyone thought I didn't brush my teeth well and I should just brush more often and better. I was even told to brush with baking soda and did that for years. It never helped. I would brush so hard my gums would bleed. I went through junior high and high school hiding my ugly teeth as best as I could. This made me very self-conscious. When I graduated high school and got my first job I knew what I had to do. The week I got my first pay check I went to the dentist to find out what was wrong and how I could fix it. He looked at my teeth and knew exactly what it was. (Prior to this, the last time I was at the dentist I was about 9 or 10 years old. ) My teeth were stained because of fluorosis. (I don't know if that is how you spell it.) And it is caused when there is too much fluoride in the water. Luckily, it also makes the teeth very strong and I have never had a cavity! The dentist made trays for my teeth and gave me bleaching solution to use 6-8 hours a day. He said it would take about 6 weeks to complete. I was desperate and used it around the clock. It made my teeth very sensitive and made my gums hurt, but I was determined to have white teeth. It took six weeks for the top and six weeks for the bottom, but when I was finished my teeth were WHITE. So white, in fact, that people used to comment about how white they were. People were still looking at my teeth- but this time because they were white and not yellow! The dentist told my that I would probably have to re-do the bleach every five years or so. That was in 1990 and I haven't had to do it again. I have used the Crest white strips occasionally for a few days, but they bug me so I have never completed the week like you are supposed to. So, I know what it feels like to be made fun of and have kids call me names. In fifth grade I was "golden teeth," and in high school some people asked me if I smoked. Many times people would ask what was wrong with my teeth. I never knew what to say, so I ignored it.

Anyway, what I am trying to say, is that if there is something I can do to make Bryson's lip appear more normal I want to do it. I know it will never look perfect, but it can look less noticeably different. He should not have to put up with kids making fun of him if there is a way to fix it. We can find a way to build his character another way.

Another reason I am in a funk is that I REALLY want to go shopping. I am not a shopper, per se. I like to go every once in a while and get something new. I haven't bought me anything since the summer. Then it was just a few shirts for work. When we decided to move into this house and found out baby #3 would be coming Drew said that the next two years would be very hard and tight. He wasn't kidding. We are at the end of the second year and I can definitely feel the pinch. I have been counting down the months until we are finished paying for two kids in day care. Jackson has 4 months to go! Anyway, I dreamed about shopping last night. Everything I tried on fit ( definitely only happens in a dream) and I bought it. It felt so good in my dream just to buy something new. Now if you have seen my closet you know I don't have a shortage of clothes or shoes. But you know how fun it is to have something new to wear. Maybe just blogging about it will take the edge off!

So, hopefully, my funk will be over soon and I can go back to feeling "normal" again. Who knows what it is. I just want it gone!