Third time's the charm

Bryson right after his iv was put in. He was so brave! He was watching Charlotte's Web on the DVD player.



Last picture with his "old lip." He really was in a good mood, it just doesn't look like it!




Party hat! Once the happy juice started flowing he was grinning and acting silly!





In recovery. He had a hard time coming out of the anesthesia. He cried and cried, but eventually he calmed down enough so we could go home.





Very swollen. It will take several days for the swelling to go down, but he is feeling good. He keeps thinking of things to eat. We have told him he can eat anything he can fit into his mouth and he is trying to do just that!



Today is the day I have been dreading and looking forward to at the same time. I have been dreading the fact that Bryson is going to experience pain and discomfort. I have been looking forward to "fixing" something that we have been dealing with for over nine years.

When Bryson was born and we discovered his "imperfection," I thought it would be a quick and easy thing to fix. (BTW, I know we all have imperfections, his was just more obvious than most.) I naively thought right after he was born that they could fix his lip before we left the hospital. How wrong I was! We had to wait for him to reach 10 pounds and 3 months of age. Then the doctor opted to fix one side at a time. That meant a second surgery at 6 months of age. I wanted both sides fixed at the same time. I didn't want to wait three more months. Again, how naive I was. I now know the doctor knows what he is doing so much better than I do! He is cautious in his approach. He would rather perform two separate surgeries than risk having a lip that is too tight and stretched.


After the second surgery, again I thought that would be the end of it, the doctor said that Bryson would need a revision as he got older. I was not happy with this news. I was ready to put it behind me once and for all.


Before Bryson started kindergarten I had Drew take him back to the doctor to see if that was a good time to have his final surgery. He wanted him to grow a little more.

Fast forward to this spring when Bryson told me that some kids had been making fun of him. (This had happened in the past, but it never seemed to bother him as much as it did this year.) I asked Drew if we could take him back to the doctor and see if now would be a good time to do it. I prepared myself to wait a little longer, but the doctor said now would be a good time. We set a date. Bryson was happy and I was happy knowing that he would finally be able to put this behind us.


At our pre-op appointment yesterday, the doctor mentioned the possibility that he would only be able to fix one side of Bryson's lip. He said he didn't want to compromise the integrity of the blood supply. If there was a question about it, he would be cautious and leave the other side alone. He could then have a fourth procedure right before school starts. I didn't want to have a fourth surgery for various reasons~ some financial, some just because I am impatient and want it done NOW, but I was prepared for this possibility. In fact, I expected it.


When the doctor came out to the waiting room after the surgery, he said that he was able to do both sides. He said it looked good and thought the blood supply was fine. He did say that if we wanted/needed to we could go back in a year and touch it up a bit. I think we have to come to the point that we need to acknowledge that Bryson's lip is never going to be perfect. I have told him that his lip will always be unique to only him and nobody else in the world will ever have a lip like his. I think we could drive ourselves crazy if we keep trying to "touch up" our imperfections. (Yes, Drew, I am speaking to myself, too!)


I think this will be his last surgery. If he decides one day (when he is paying for his own insurance) that he would like to have something else done, he can make that call. As for my feelings, I want to try to teach him to be happy with who he is and how he looks. God made him unique and wonderful. He is a handsome little boy and should be happy with his lip. I love my son and want to do the best thing for him. Constantly trying to "fix" his appearance is not in his best interest. I believe he needed this surgery to take out some extra skin that was left from his first two surgeries. I believe we have done what we can and anything else would just be unnecessary.


I hope I am making sense. I am rambling, but I have thought a lot about this. How much is too much? How much is not enough? How much emphasis do we, as parents, put on appearances? I struggle with my own flaws and physical imperfections and I don't want to pass this on to my kids, but I do want to do everything in my power as a parent to help my kids in any way I can. Can you tell I am torn?


If you have made it this far through this post, I am thankful! I just needed to get my feelings about this out and this is a good place to do it! It is my blog after all!

Anyway, thanks for the prayers and good thoughts today. We really appreciate it and felt every one! (By the way, Bryson is trying to say his lip is the reason he shouldn't have to brush his teeth tonight!)